Dilemma
How do I explain that I prefer not to eat anything than to eat something I haven’t prepared myself? Normality only goes up to a point. I almost never eat out and when I do I usually end up locked up in a toilet, getting rid of anything unsure.
People are astonished by my cooking skills but if they knew! Sure, I cook wonderfully but it is a curse to me more than it is a blessing. I get into these phases where I eat only certain kind of food, only an amount of this, none of that. I am in a fiber phase right now. It’s not so much about the calorie content, it’s all about fiber. I need to visit the toilet, baby! (Sorry if I am grossing you out. But I am disgusting).
I am starving right now. I am at work and I have Spanish lessons in 15 minutes. It’s a 2 hours lesson. After, I go to my friend’s place for a board game evening. I won’t be home before midnite. And can you believe that I won’t eat a single thing until then? I prefer to feel dizzy and sick to take the chance to eat anything prepared.
I am fucked up in the head real bad. Who does that?
People are astonished by my cooking skills but if they knew! Sure, I cook wonderfully but it is a curse to me more than it is a blessing. I get into these phases where I eat only certain kind of food, only an amount of this, none of that. I am in a fiber phase right now. It’s not so much about the calorie content, it’s all about fiber. I need to visit the toilet, baby! (Sorry if I am grossing you out. But I am disgusting).
I am starving right now. I am at work and I have Spanish lessons in 15 minutes. It’s a 2 hours lesson. After, I go to my friend’s place for a board game evening. I won’t be home before midnite. And can you believe that I won’t eat a single thing until then? I prefer to feel dizzy and sick to take the chance to eat anything prepared.
I am fucked up in the head real bad. Who does that?
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2 comments:
i do that. i don't eat. i wish there was a pill we could take for nutrients. eating makes me panic. i have lost so much weight and i feel sick at night when i haven't eaten all day. finally i take a klonopin at midnight and am able to get something down. it has nothing to do with wanting to be thin. it is an anxiety thing. so weird that i stumbled upon your blog. what do we do about these things?
xxx
t
That doesn't sound very good.
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